One Of The Keys To My Success

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key to success

About a year ago, I was in a pretty bad place.  I was really struggling with the fact that my life seemed to be crumbling down around my ankles.  There were so many aspects of my life that I wanted and NEEDED to change, but I had no idea how to go about it.   God answered my fervored prayers in this endeavor.  No sooner did everything start to go to hell in a handbasket when amazing opportunities started to pop up.  One of them was access to a wellness coach. 

A local woman was completing her training to become a wellness coach and was looking for folks to work with… For free!  Immediately, I knew that I wanted and needed to work with her.  I was pretty desperate and would grasp any helping hand put in my path.  I was all too happy to be a guinea pig!  Kristin was the answer to prayer in more ways than one…  I will forever be grateful for her presence in my life and the skills she taught me.

Upon our first meeting, she asked me to envision the life I wanted to have.  What kinds of things would I be doing?  What would be different from what I’m doing now?   How would I feel physically, mentally and emotionally?   From there, we worked our way backward, creating long, mid and short-term goals.   For me, this was crucial.  After a time of any effort to address it, I had always taken one look at the overwhelming amount of weight I have to lose and think, “I just can’t do it, it’s too much, it will take too long.”  Then put my head back in the sand, hoping it would go away. (-That never worked, by the way.)  However, by breaking goals down into much more manageable chunks, I was able to see how ALL of my goals could and would be achieved.  I committed to these goals with enthusiasm and we accessed my progress as we went along.  With Kristin’s never ending encouragement, I was able to gain some pretty significant ground.  This continued, past the time that she finished her certification, until my life was actually in crisis. 

Now some people might think, “Wait a minute!  I thought she was helping you…  How did you end up in crisis?”  For now, I’ll just say that the crisis was a long time in coming.  My work with Kristin helped me to have the strength and courage I needed to make some very difficult and painful decisions, empowering me to take action where action was needed.  She helped me through the most critical time, when I needed support the most.  Fortunately for me, Kristin has taught me a life skill:  How to think clearly about and set goals that are realistic.  Unfortunately, I let myself get derailed during my time of crisis.  

Fast forward eight months and I am grateful to be in a better place.  God has shown me, through His grace and mercy, the many ways in which I am blessed.  I still have a long journey ahead of me, but possess some great skills to help me along the path.  I hope to continue adding to my collection of tools as I encounter hurdles.  I’ve recently become aware that there is one key to success that is missing.  A tool that I must have in order to reach any goal I set.  Accountability! 

While I was meeting with Kristin, I would almost always complete my goals for the week because I didn’t want to disappoint her.  I learned that I didn’t like disappointing myself either!  It was a great self-confidence builder.  Regrettably, when I stopped being accountable to Kristin, I found that it was far too easy to stop completing my lists because nobody would know the difference anyway.  (In my therapist’s voice, I hear: “Ah, but YOU know the difference!  Why doesn’t that seem to matter as much to you?  What are you telling yourself here?”)  You see, it is too easy to fall back in the pattern of putting my head in the sand and hoping it will all just disappear.  Eventually, I let go of my short and medium term goals, leaving my long-term goals out to flap about in the breeze by themselves.  

This week, I am going to recapture my long-term goals and set some new mid and short-term goals to help me achieve them.  Then I’m going to be super brave and put them out here as a way to keep MYSELF accountable.   I am coming to terms with the fact that while other people’s opinions matter to some extent, my goal shouldn’t be to please them.  It should ultimately be to please God. Since I am solely accountable to Him, I need to be accountable to myself .  As long as my goals are in line with what He wants for me, I believe He’ll bless them.    

I’d like to challenge you to ask yourself, “What does my ideal life look and feel like? (NO LIMITS!)  How does it differ from the life I’m leading today?  What can I do to get to that ideal life?”  Perhaps you’ll be inspired to make some goals to help you take action.   If it does inspire YOU, I hope you’ll share that with me!

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About immakingmyownsunshine

I was born in Florida (Navy brat), raised in Northern Wisconsin and as an adult, I am a New Englander. As a result, I think I crave sunshine, am a relatively grounded and friendly person but with a dash of that New England spunk. These are a few of my favorite things: bright, bold colors, sunshine, mild temperatures, light breezes, traveling, playing cards, a variety of crafts, decorating my home, coloring in the lines, curling up with a good book on a rainy day, ice cold drinks, thunderstorms and the the crisp, clean smell after a light rain. A few of my dreams: Ultimately, to spend eternity in heaven, but before I get there - travel Europe, to be my best, healthiest self, to be able to dress in a way that expresses my inner self, and to never let the clouds get in the way of living a bright, grateful and cheerful life.

2 responses »

  1. Here are a couple accountability ideas. I have always wanted to write a novel. I am realistic in knowing it may never be published (unless I self-publish), but I at least wanted to finish. I got a good start and then hit a lull. So here’s what I did: I made goals and then told a friend about them. For example: If I don’t get you 100 pages by this day, then I owe you $100 made out to the charity of your choice. You better believe that worked. Another thing is to have a workout buddy who will walk with your every day. And thirdly, have you heard of the Jawbone bracelet? It tracks your sleep, your steps, your calories, your calories burned, etc. You can follow your progress throughout the day and see if you’ve met your goals. However I also think there is a feature which publicizes how are you doing to others…such as a trainer or friend…so they can check in and see how you are doing. It’s pretty cool. Talk about Big Brother watching!

  2. Thanks for sharing! I LOVE the self-imposed consequence of giving to charity! That would be a win-win (or lose-lose) situation. I can totally see myself being motivated by that. I haven’t heard of the Jawbone bracelet, but it sounds like something to check into. Best wishes on writing that book. I know you can do it! If there’s any way I might support/encourage you, please be sure to let me know. I’d be honored to do so.

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